By Hadassah Agbaps - October 22, 2014

Hi people, what's been on?

Today I'd like to share my thoughts regarding child haircare and fashion especially for a child with kinky curly hair.

I've been observing from afar the debates surrounding Blue Ivy's hair and how people felt it was unkempt and how some parties felt that Beyonce should do more to make her baby girl's hair sleek and neat.............and I disagree.

I do not see anything wrong with Blue Ivy's hair. I just see a child allowed to play, tumble, jump, roll and simply be a child. Her hair may have been combed...but she's just going to roll in the grass with it or pull it when she cries or twist it while she!

A lot of naturals today have embraced their kinky curly hair with many not being shy to rock their kinky curly afros but from my observations, while they have accepted the kinky curly nature of their hair, somehow they still expect their baby girl's hair to be more curly and wavy than kinky.

They still feel dissatisfaction if their bundle of joy decided to come with tightly coiled hair without laid baby hair.

So to satisfy what they feel is the perfect natural hair, they smooth, sleek and stretch and coerce the poor kid's hair to conform feeling that as long as they don't apply any chemical treatment to the hair, anything goes.

I get requests from mothers who tell me that they want their daughter's hair to stay natural but

'can I use a little texturizer on it so that her hair curls instead of will still be natural abi?"
Let's be real. Do you want a black child or not?

Some parents go through extremes to "adultify" a child.

 They'll put the baby in long dresses instead of simple short dresses or playsuits which allow the baby to play and explore her little world.

They'll put the baby in heels instead of sneakers.

They'll put makeup and eyeliner on the baby.

They'll wear the baby heavy necklaces, bangles, bracelets and unnecessary jewellery in an attempt to beautify an already beautiful child.

They'll braid the child's hair in little braids and twists with lots of beads that flog the poor child when she runs.

They'll put extensions, wigs and weaves on a child and Lord knows how uncomfortable that is even for adults....

Need I go on?

Using Blue Ivy as a case point, do you really expect Beyonce to run about putting each strand of her baby's coily hair in place when all the little tot wants to do is explore?

Do you really expect any style that was done in the morning on the baby's head to last through her tumbles and play?

Adult naturalistas whose hair is one to two years  old and too small to pack into a bun find it hard to make their hair conform and you expect the hair of an active under 5 year old to stay sleek and in place?

Twist outs go awry, afros get matted and tangled and if you want to put it all together, you'd have to make a billion little twists so that the style doesn't unravel...which healthy toddler will sit through that?

For those who say she should braid her baby's hair, tell me how that works out!
Everyday, I see beautiful little girls with traction alopecia because momma felt her hair needed to be put under control and every stray hair must be in place!

My little 4 year old cousin is currently battling to keep her hair line....why? Because her momma felt that her teeny weeny fro was getting too long to be left alone.
She took her to a braider who decided to weigh down her fragile strands with yarn decked in clinking beads!

 Now she has ugly bald patches where her hair pulled out! #canyoutellI'mpissed?
It was such an eyesore and guess what momma thought she'd do? Take her to have Ghana braids done!

I told her she'd either shave off the whole hair or make her daughter's hair herself without extensions.
Now she's styling the fragile hair in little buns while we are babying the bald spots and are thankfully being rewarded with fuzzy new growth.

Please do not project your ideals of adult beauty on a happy little toddler whose main mission in her under five year old life is to explore the world she came in, discover its little secrets, point to the beautiful butterfly and sniff a rose, ask you a billion questions,tumble in the grass, then give you a sweaty sticky loving kiss and hug!

Let the poor child enjoy her childhood without inhibitions placed by adult expectations.

I rest my!

What are your opinions about children's haircare and fashion?

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  1. I love love love this post. Raise that to a thousand powers. Everyone should just mind their own business and let celeb's kids wear their hair the way they want. Ppl should just mind their business.

    1. Everything I've been saying put into one perfect spot! God bless you, thank you!

  2. Blue Ivy's hair is fine the way it is. I was sad when I saw a 5 or 6 year old with a weave walking through Harare. This child will have no hairline if this is kept up. I have seen several other toddlers, yes toddlers with messed up hairlines because of tight styling. Let kids be kids. My mom kept my hair in African threading during my toddler years that wasn't tight, and my hair grew and I still have my hairline up to this day

    1. Gosh a six year old with a weave, how weird is that...a lot like Toddlers and Tiaras, African edition. Your mom is a darling! Less is more.

  3. you are absolutely right!. great post

  4. I love this post! While teaching primary 2 children(for NYSC) I remember noticing that only one out of 13 girls in primary 2 had natural hair(and her hair was healthy and nice). Out of the 12 relaxed girls, only one had healthy hair, full edges and hair that actually came past neck length. These are 6 year olds! Everyday, one or the other will come with shiny scalp/edges and when I ask they will say "my mummy rubbed one cream for me so that my hair will grow". I cringe when I see little girls looking older than they are. Let a child be a child while they want to. When they become teens and start to rebel, you will now be the one begging them to look like children

    1.'s awful. Prevention of alopecia is better than it's cure but I notice a lot of people will willing pay a lot of money for one "petrolatum ridden, awful smelling magic hair growth cream" or pop pills rather than use half of that to prevent alopecia from happening in the first place...and the message parents unwittingly send to their kids is that these hair problems are "normal". The kid with the healthy hair is the odd one out....

  5. Ask them oh. Help me ask them, my sister! Do you want a little black naturalista or not?
    The negativity surrounding Blue's hair has been ridiculous. Why can't we leave her to enjoy her childhood?
    People criticise Beyonce for being "too perfect" but are too blind to see that she's not subjecting her child to the same standards she has had to deal with in her career, right from a very young age. I mean, she's Beyonce's child. If Bey wanted a stylist for her right out of the womb, three would have been assigned.
    Pains me when I see little children with weave and tight hairstyles. It does. And all these children without hairlines. As a child, I remember going to the salon every week was my worst thing to do! I was happiest when my mother did "Calabar" for us. (the only thing she could do, as she didn't know how to braid)
    At first glance, Insta baby fashion is cute, but then I wonder why it's become a thing to dress a baby like a miniature adult. Na wa.

  6. I was actually worried abt dis particular practix nw dat I av a little girl wt a full head of hair like mine. So hw do I maintain it cos am nt eager @ all a start all braiding and weave-ons stuff. I'm even aving a fierce argument wt my sisters over it who r all urging me 2 do jus dat.

    1. Hi Verere! I agree with you. You don't have to braid or fix your little girl's hair if you don't want to. Simple afro puffs, simple buns and simple braids or cornrows( if she's older than 5) is acceptable. Hairstyling shouldn't take all day or be painful. I have a post specifically for caring for children's hair. It's on the natural hair basics tab. Hope this helps.


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