By Hadassah Agbaps - October 24, 2012

Hello naturalistas!
Hope you've had a wonderful week! It's been real busy for me on so many levels.
I can only say I've been travelling round the country like I got a bee in my knickers that won't let me sit still!

Well, I've posted about a new natural's complaint that her natural hair made her feel low class.
She admitted to not having the confidence to rock natural hair due to the negative "sidements" i.e. side comments.

Well, I've had my share of such "sidements" but I push them to the side where they belong.
Just recently, I was travelling to another part of the country. My seat mate, a pleasant woman in her fifties made a comment about my hair.
She said " you should try combing your hair often to rock a pretty fro!"

Errrr.......scratch that!
Anyone who has encountered coily/curly hair be it natural or a weave would know that regular combing will be the death of that hair/ weave.
Unless your hair/weave is wavy or straight, a comb or brush has no business going close to that hair on a regular basis!!!
I kid you not
Most sidements concerning natural hair come from "misunderstanding"!
Nigerians believe that if you have natural hair,it should be hidden!
Well, hiding your natural hair in protective styles such as braids, twists, cornrows and weaves is good for the hair. If done properly, it will help retain length.
But hiding your natural hair because it is perceived as unattractive by "others" (who usually have no real names) is where I have a problem.
It's called bullying.

If the "others" were advising me because they were really informed, I might take it. Afterall, the Bible says you gotta learn to listen to the wise!
But in my experience, many so called "advice" are given by people who have "no idea" evidenced by their discoloured hair, receeding hairlines and generally unhealthy hair!

Don't get me wrong! I'm not trying to be snide or bigheaded or impolite.
NOO!!! I'm as humble as can be. Afterall, we can only do so much to care for ourselves and God does the rest!
I'm only trying to say if you have to live your life depending on "sidements"....starting with your hair, then you'll have a really sad life depending on "sidements"....ending with your personal confidence.
If you feel you need to give "sidements", make sure you are well informed.

Besides, have you noticed that general acceptance of hair styles have to do with trends?
Take for instance, the Mohawk styles which involves shaving portions of the hair and leaving hair in the middle was seen as an irresponsible hairstyle and was frowned upon way back when.
Now, even mothers take their babies to the barbers to shave the sides of their hair and "others" say it's cool!
Since the approval of "others" is at best ephemeral, is it wise to base your confidence on such? #justsaying

I'd rather put my confidence in what God says about me than what people think because He's my designer and He made me nappy!

  • Share:

You Might Also Like


  1. nice one here girl! i really believe all african women should learn to be confident with their naural coil or curl, its a gift from God. i love me so naturally and i rock my fro to school without curling it!..the white people here love it, some of them are even jelous sef

  2. Ah.. I'm also jealous of your fro girl! gawgeous!!!!


Have a question or comment? We would love you to share!!!!